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2  For  Recovery

 The truth of life, the truth of love, is messy and can be difficult.

We should make good use of any chance we have

to make it easier for one another. 

Relationship, Recovery and Reconciliation

discussed by a couple who have been there.

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About Us

We are a couple challenged by a once hidden addiction now recovering our relationship as one recovers from addiction and the other from the trauma brought on by the addiction and its fallout.

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We are anonymous. One will present herself as Grace here. It is a beautiful name and helpful concept.  The other voice is the recovering addict partner. He is using the name Re, for recovery, and the many other  "re- words". Grace will be the one on social media. Due to his crime, Re will not be as present online but will see and can respond to comments on this site.

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Grace: I am an introvert, healer, gardener, and believer in the power of love- active, living, growing, deepening, understanding, acting, out in the world, love. I am a wife and mother and I know our deepest wounds come from those who love us. Or at least they should love us, and do to the best of their abilities, I believe. I have been shattered by my  partners addiction and incarceration and I have rebuilt myself as an introvert would, with books and intimate conversations. I hope what I have learned and am learning will help you.

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Re: I am a writer, an activist, former religious leader, and also now someone with a felony thanks to my addiction and related flaws.  I have several reasons and impulses for writing; many are the same ones which led me to being a writer  from the teen years of my life. Some I suspect have been intensified or have bloomed anew in the past seven years of recovery. My writing is also now a form of offering amends in a broad sense. A way to offer not an excuse, but explanation for what led me into recovery. I write for the purpose of helping others. From depths of despair, we can be raised.

First  Things  First

Emotional triggers can abound here. Take care. Throughout this blog and website there will be personal reflections about the harms where various addictions often lead when untreated. These include betrayals, hurts, estrangements, and more, and also include crime and incarceration. This will include sex-related actions and offenses. We will avoid graphic descriptions and be as general as possible while still engaging honestly.
We honor all life stories. We encourage everyone to become acquainted with and deeply listen to those who have been harmed. See our resources page for groups devoted especially to the care and protection and justice for the most vulnerable. Support them.
The stories of suffering, struggle, strength and survival of spirit written or told by the people who have experienced betrayals and crimes committed against them or their loved ones need to be highlighted. Adverse childhood experiences and trauma at any age will affect all involved, addicts and offenders as well. We need to tell and hear all stories  in order to help prevent harm to self and others.
You will encounter often here that we have a focus on "explanations, not excuses" and also on explanation itself not being used as excuse.  Remember that accountability and grace are flip sides of the same coin.
And that help is available. See our resources.

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